summer, 2014

So the last post I wrote was on mother's day. Which, while i think it was a rather good one, is 4 months old.

Oops.

So, to catch you up on the past nearly four months we'll start with the littlest member of our household.

Don't let this angel face fool you, this one has temper for days

Leonel is now nearly 10 months old and finally growing into some larger clothes. He is a little guy with some big attitude, and will have no trouble whatsoever holding his own in life. It never ceases to amaze me to see how much of who we are that we are born with - you would think that many behaviours would be learned, but when you look into Leo's eyes there is a LOT there. Since he now lives closer by his dad has been coming to visit more often, which is great because as far as I can tell he still plans to take him full time at some point, so it would be best for them to get to know each other. 

Father and son

And no, I'd rather not think about how that is going to be when it happens. I just keep reminding myself that God knows what He is doing, and since I can't control the outcome of any of this I'll just leave it up to Him. In the meantime we'll just keep walking this road with Leo's dad until he is in a place where he is able to be independently responsible for his son.

Anyway, after many trips back and forth to Ensenada and now Tijuana as well we are finally getting somewhere with his feet and I am hoping that we'll only have to do 3 or 4 more cast changes before they can do a surgery where they will cut the achilles tendon to allow more movement. It's a long road but I am so thankful to have found the shriners hospital in Tijuana who are doing all the cast changes and will do the surgery free of charge.

9 years of Alex! 

Alex - oh my Alex. He is growing up more everyday and is constantly surprising me. He just recently had his 9th birthday, and in October marks 8 years that I have had the pleasure of being his mama. He finished the 3rd grade in July with better grades than he has ever had and began the 4th grade a few weeks ago with his usual laid back confidence.  He is continuing to learn karate, and recently started taking drum lessons.

Yes, that's right, drum lessons. (because, why not?) It is so fun to watch him grow and discover who he is and what he likes, and I love that he is taking such an interest in music. We are still in the adoption process, which to date is veeeeeeery slooooooooooow, however every appointment is one step forward. It looks like it is going to be at very least another year, but again God has His plan and in the meantime we get to learn patience.

Next in line was Yesi, however I am sad to inform those of you who don't know that she is no longer living with us. I think part of the reason I held off writing an update was that I was still hoping she would come back, however that does not look likely at this point.

She moved in with her mom and step-dad who had recently moved back into the area in June, quit her job at the community centre and  school as well. Please pray for her with me, that she will soon realize that 'freedom' can cost more than we realize, and that she realizes how much God and we love her.

Our Berta is still here though, which we are so glad for! On the 9th we were able to celebrate her 25th birthday; she is so much help and I am constantly delighted to see her confidence growing and more of her personality coming through. She was working full time for a few months, but left that job and has started high school. She was so nervous, but is settling in well and working diligently on her assignments, in addition to helping me around the house and with little Leo. She would also like to learn more about clothing design, so at the moment I am looking for someone to teach her to sew.

As for me, well life with a baby is always busy, plus trips back and forth to the doctor in Ensenada and Tijuana thrown in for good measure. Alex needs to be brought back and forth to school and the extra classes he takes, Berta needs to go back and forth to school twice a week for evening classes, so basically I am in the car a lot!

Craft time!

Then of course there is the community centre; I give four English classes a week for adults and children, and I help plan/search out/promote other classes and activities that we can host. We held a summer day camp over at the centre when the regular classes ended for the summer, which was a little crazy but mostly fun, and are now getting back into the swing of regular classes which right now include english, music, computer, art, zumba, a preschool class, and how to make mexican candy. 

In June I finished the diploma course in teaching english as a second language (98% average - who knew?!), which was such an excellent experience and has improved my teaching skills incredibly. Besides the adult and kid's classes at the centre I was also offered the opportunity to use this knowledge in a position at a local university teaching an english class twice a week. 

I think before I started was the most nervous I have been since... well I don't even know. However, as I got started it felt incredibly natural, and it has already improved my focus and added organization to my teaching methods that I will be able to put to practice in my classes at the centre! 

me n my Ma. 

As some of you already know, I also made a really quick trip up to Alberta in June to celebrate both of my parents' 60th birthdays. It was a great time and I was able to see many people over the few days I was there, but I think because it was so short (4 non-travel days) I had a really tough time when I came home. An adjustment period going from one "life" to another is normal, however this time I really struggled with feelings of missing home and family and, well to be honest feeling sorry for myself because of all of the things I miss out on by being so far away. So many birthdays and holidays go by that I don't get to be with family, and some days that is harder to deal with than others.

In fact for the past several months I have been struggling a lot with fatigue, feelings of being overwhelmed and what I can only describe as mental fogginess. I've been struggling to see what direction God is taking me in, only to remember that today is the only day I need to live right now, and if He gives me tomorrow I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Depending on God and committing my life and all that includes to him can sometimes be a daily battle, but oh so necessary! I am being led through a time of reflection of who God is, what His Son came for and what the Holy Spirit wants to do through us as Christians. I've been taking in as much as possible of what it means to be a Jesus follower, what that needs to look like, what it really means to witness. I feel like this community centre is just the start of something bigger, and I am equal parts excited and afraid. Or intimidated?

I hardly know how to put these feelings into words, but I really felt the need to try to communicate them to encourage others who are feeling the same things to share them and explore a better way. It is agonizing to me to see what the church is a lot of times compared to what it was meant to be- more now than ever - which makes me wonder what God is up to. What He is wanting me to do about it.

I thank all of you who pray for me from the bottom of my heart, and hope that you will continue. I  could really use my energy back, so prayers for health and wisdom to know what my body is lacking would be wonderful. Some new vitamins seem to be helping lately, and I am looking into some other changes I can make to help pull me out of the 'fog', but I am open to suggestions! :D The good news is, though, that I have been declared psychologically healthy by the state psychiatrist (for Alex's adoption), so there is that.

Ha

Well if you have managed to read through all of that, good for you. I sincerely apologize for my lack of communication - I will try to do better.

Really, I will.

Lots of love!!!